Horror Film Survivor Series

AS A PUBLIC SERVICE--
If you've seen any of the "Scream" trilogy, you've probably heard the tips being given for "surviving a horror film". Well, I can tell you that they didn't cover EVERYTHING that you'd need to know, in order to make it to the closing credits in one piece. That's why I now present,
"OTHER Horror Film Survival Tips":

#1)
If you should find yourself in a horror, sci-fi or fantasy film, DO NOT under any circumstances, go into the bathroom! Modesty means zilch to monsters and homicidal maniacs, and they could care less about the "Occupied" sign on the door. (see "Deep Rising", "The Relic" & "Jurassic Park")

#2)
Although the place has plenty of room, great atmosphere and the real estate agent is willing to give you a GREAT deal, it's NOT a good idea to hold your pajama party, birthday party or sorority/fraternity mixer in the local abandoned mansion/funeral home/insane asylum. (SEE: "House On Haunted Hill'('99), "Night Of The Demons" & "Hell Night")

#3)
Call the police. They may not be particularly effective against the monster/killer, but they'll at least keep them occupied while you try to save YOUR hide. (SEE: "Return Of The Living Dead", "Friday The 13th, Pt.7", "Halloween 2", "The Relic" and "Terminator".)

#4) Unless you're 100% CERTAIN that there's a circus in town, don't go anywhere near anyone who even LOOKS like a clown!! (SEE: Killer Klowns From Outer Space, The Clown At Midnight, Clownhouse)

#5) If a large container or coffin containing a body/corpse is found hidden away in a secret place, odds are that it was hidden away for a VERY good reason! (SEE: "Dracula 2000", "Night Of The Creeps", "Return Of The Living Dead" & "The Mummy" ('99))

Got A Question? Got A Comment? Got A Trivia Question That's Driving You Nuts???...Drop this ol' fuzzball an e-mail, and I'll do my darnedest to answer it for you...E-mails and their answers will be posted here, for all the world to enjoy...

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