~Burning in the flame~
Subj. ~Burning in the flame~
Dec 18 1998
I am writing to you to let you know I am clutching your last message in my grasp, and will be reading it this night, all night I am sure. I am tortured that circumstances do not allow me to indulge myself to you now. Just know that you are right in thinking that if your muse dances with thoughts of me this eve, my muse is dancing with her. On the morrow.
Dec 19 1998
Conciencness dances its way into my dead sleep .... My body stiff as the muse of my dreams dissipates from the grasp of my memory ...... Haphazardly contemplating how important it is to be particularly punctual this eve .... anyway the sun probably has not fully gone down yet ...... but how would I know .... I am a troglodyte by nature.... any windows I have .... long ago have been fashionably boarded up to avoid any unwanted sunlight from burning into my dreams ....... I stir ...... between the light and the dark ...... Light kisses lick my lips ........ letting me know where I am ...... my beloved Lenore..... I grab her and draw her close so she can not escape ..... you bad little girl ..... what are you doing outside of your cage again?..... I stroke her tail and kiss her little vermin ears .... Lenore .... how I love you ....... Love! I spring upright, rat in tow ..... Has she read my message ...... did I push too hard and fast? No, she does not seem to be a flower easily crushed...... Has she responded, how has she responded? I must know. I flip over the cassette I fell asleep to and hit play, the tape I made ...... Ann Wilson singing to me ...... the same song recorded over and over ......... "Down on Me" from Hearts album "Baby La Strange" ..... The song hardly seems appropriate any more, the title cut would probably better fit the current situation ....... I smile and wince at the thought that the heart filled words of the song would apply to us one day ..... or maybe already do. With trepidation, I smack my mouse, flicking off the screen saver, pointing and clicking my way to new revelations ..... Sweet solace torments me with every word ..... More than mere glimpses through a keyhole .... the heavy oaken door creaks open. ...... I get the next pieces of the puzzle ...... I slip them into the place that their unique shape requires them to be ...
Azling, or should I say ..
I have to say up front that in the span of our literary intercourse you have me in a state of perpetual orgasm. You, with desires like my own, exhaling ebbing submissions and inhaling waves of domination with every drowning, panting breath. As to my reference to the trepidation we would share from a respective surprise, in no way did I intend to incline in any way that you were "afraid" in any sensible definition of the word. Only to think of the various possibilities, brings on exhilarating images ranging from, but defiantly not limited to, the ridiculous to the sublime. I may be wrong, but I do not see fear, as most people experience it, as part of your nature. Only a respect for earnest danger when in dire straights, and a respect for the possibilities in situations like the one we refer to .. truth be known, I was only trying to rattle your cage as firmly as you rattled mine ... As to your debate of my valid argument "sometimes it is best if you do not get to touch your dreams" ... I defer to your words ..... "......when a dream such as our's happens to find it's passive weaving way..into the fabric of our reality......to not touch and lay hand to this....would be ohhhh such a lost oppertunity..::her head shifts lightly side to side.....saddened in the thought:::.....for dreams do not often gain a fighting chance of life.....trapped within the obtusive confines of our subconcious....always awaiting the moment of pause in our drifting state.....they spring to animated false life.....to play their roll ......never quite being able to partake in their longed fullness.................hence I find that as this flitting dream of ours .....has found it's way into the dense curtain of our manipulated realm ......what a terrible waste to let it slip away into the eternal abyss.......with open arms....I embrace this dream......for tis not only the dream that has longed for the thriving rush of life.......... passion......enticement......enchantment ......surreality....euphoria....love....symmetry.......... completion............." Bam . I submit to your eloquence reading my thoughts .. I agreed with you, as you know, before I made the previous statement, before you wrote this one .. I think we both, at times, over think the trifles of what the other is thinking but are wholly on the same page in heart and mind in ways we do not even appreciate. I do so love when the tables are turned, so few are capable. This is why I offered the idea of my "surprise" to you, it did illicit the intended response. And you, living up to my expectations, do the same to me with a turn of a card. I would have written them quite differently, had I known you would answer them all and that I was to answer them also. I do not know if you realized, but I only intended for you to answer one question in each group. I can only assume you intended this as a leap of faith. You blow me away. Your creative and forthright glut of revelations endears me to you all the more. Again, I would have written them quite differently, had I known. At any rate .. here we go, the other side of the coin.
1.) The year(s)? PAST
I do not believe this applies anymore, After a review of the very few inspiring loves I have known, I knew in my heart none come close to being capable of writing the words you have written to me.
2.) An image of (at the very least) the gateways to your soul. PRESENT
Here you still have me at a serious disadvantage. I take you at your word and I desire with anticipation to, perhaps one day, gaze into your limpid pools all the more.
3.) Are you betrothed? FUTURE
In no way. Broken hearted, but not betrothed.
1.) Your proximity?
You seem to know
2.) Your vocation?
Believe it or not, a vampire on HauntedAmerica.com, webmaster, writer, graphic artist, animator, poet, and mascot. Dagons Story is essentially true, most all of it. But it is not all I am. I eat & breathe fire, swallow swords, throw knifes at live targets, take a cigarette out of a mouth with the crack a bow whip, duel with swords. These talents do come in handy as of late, to be the shy life of the party. It might be of interest to you, I have also been a singer, a deep baritone, mixed with high screams, the show I was in did have me wearing a mask from time to time. Prestidigitation and what not. Stuntman, body burns, high falls. Blah, blah, blah. So much more, the flesh is truly necessary to convey .. A Renascence Man, I suppose.
3.) Your thing?
I meant this as ambiguous. A question where in, the way you answer tells more than the answer itself. But your intent is mine. I have a thirst for fun and to enjoy this life I have been given to the utmost. Living, learning, creating, and drinking it in with gusto. I have a hunger to leave my mark on this planet, to express myself as an artist, in many forms ... The near fatally wounded wolf, slumbering in his den .. Here is where I come closest to reside .. in my long forgotten quest for true love.
1.) My name?
Dagon is the name I am quite familiar with from days of old, I am sure you are aware of its origins. ~Dagan~ A more forthright reply would be for the last IV generations I have been known as......William.
2.) Your name?
I take you at your word.
4.) A wild card, a direct fact of your choice.
I think I ..I want to refer to your scriptures, line by line . So much I missed ,but I want to answer you with what I have NOW. I have the thoughts but not the words to write the novel I wish to write to you Azling . Besides, all the sooner to get a response. I am sure I will speak out of turn (as I have and hope you will) to refer back to the insights of our brief but growing history, especially now that it seems to shed its light on the future instead of the past. Breaking from the web of deceit that has had me bound . I stretch out new wings and dance in the breeze of truth .. my new wings are beautiful yet so fragile, being tested on a wind that is .. oh so strong `. I am frightened, but not one tear I could shed would put me back into the familiar confines of my cocoon. Besides this flying thing is pretty fun and there is a cool looking fire up ahead ... Although I own my own skis and have enjoyed a good skateboard, I have never been snowboarding. I do have to admit that the thought of whisking down the side of a snowy mountain with my mysterious Azling rushing at my side sounds like a lot of f***ing fun.
So there you have it, two unfamiliar, kindred souls drop their cloaks, bare themselves and stand naked and mysterious before each others wondering eyes. Their experienced naiveté bemused and titillated warming themselves in one anothers glow. I am lamenting but looking forward, with not so much as a twinge of regret, knowing; I have never taken in your aroma. As I quaff this kind nepenthe I muse; will this cup quench my thirst for lust? My dark eyes scan the vacant shadows, singing a dirge at our requiem, hoping for your fingertips to reach from the empty darkness to touch my lips and still my voice.
Violent Hugs & Bloody Kisses