And from that point on we lived in a blur of loving ecstasy. Sword fighting, Fire-breathing, love making, magical passion was just the beginning. We took the world by storm, grabbing the gusto and living our lives to the fullest. Every day better than the last, knowing our future would be what ever we chose. God knows we had our rocky times, but when all was said and done, no doubt could penetrate our love for one another. We knew it was us against the world. The dominating servant and the submissive master. Each of us, encouraging the other to fulfill the others potential. Odds are, you are not gonna get that from a box of crackerjack.
We loved with a love that was more than love.
My love for her made her a queen, and she made me her king. A True Love Fairy Tale in the flesh. Documenting our adventures to each other in autobiographical exposes that where widely read and enjoyed by millions for centuries to come. But nothing we wrote could compare to the love story we lived. The envy of the gods and every one we met, upon seeing us wished they had what we do, dazzled in our presence. The planets have come in line and it is a utopia of fun, passion, creativity, growth, exploration, excitment. .....
And we lived happily ever after.
Hopeless romantics should read no further.
part. b the rest of the story
PS. Then after this very brief mask of euphoria, one day, April 15, 1999, this once strong courageous woman woke up: and doubt, trepidation, and fear swallowed up her passion, faith, and her love. I could see she was no longer the person I feel in love with, which did not make me love her any less. I love her as deeply now as I ever did. But the last time I was with her she told me her fear was far stronger than her love. In hearing those words I had lost my soulmate, lover, best friend and much more than that, I had lost my life as I knew it.
Her fear was palpable. I could hear her precious blood pulsing through her quivering veins. The smell of it was driving me wild. The sense of betrayal mixed with desire actually had me seriously contemplating, jumping on her and biting her perfect neck and absorbing her essence.
No, I have been down that road before. Not again. Even though that is exactaly what we both needed.
After being as understanding as I could possibly be, I needed a good cry in the loving arms of a friendly embrace. I looked into the gateways of her soul, to see if her muse held just a bit of passion or compassion for the one she once loved, the one who loved her still. Perhaps a trace of an inclination of hope at making our dreams come true, of breathing life into our scriptures.....
If just for a moment....
When I looked I saw the unmistakable passion that was permeating her entire being.
I have never been to hell, but I think I will save
myself the trip;
She held it within her eyes.
I will never forget the last time I gazed upon her face;
The thing she wanted most in her life,
More than any other thing at that moment .
Was for me to leave ..
So I did.
As you wish, my love.......
The kindred soul,
Her passion for me,
the revelations and adventures......
Spooning perfection ....
In a kind and loving way, my passion for her had become
a leech on her face.
She now saw me as the monster that I am.
And all of the wishing wells,
And stars in the sky,
Wont make her stay anymore.
And all of the plans you made,
Will soon wash to sea.
Like a lark,
Who cant sing anymore.
Wont you sing anymore?
Tell this soul with sorrow laiden, if within the distant aiden,
I will clasp a sainted maiden who the angels named Azling?
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden who the angels named Azling?
Quoth the Raven
. . . ....
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy love from out my
Quote the XXOnyx CrowXX
At any rate .
Death, famine, pestilence, pain, misery, and the gnashing of teeth ..
Blood and gore upon the floor, and you forgot your spoon.
Does she remember, remember my name . ?
Didnt she used to want to know my
I even hate to bring that up.
Subj.~I guess this was all bullsh*t~
Date: 04/15/98 5:23:53 AM US Eastern Standard Time
God this sucks, bad.
I walked out of her door in the wee hours of the morning that night with a gaping hole in my chest. Leaving tracks of blood gushing with every step . as I wondered aimlessly ..
More abandoned, lost, cold, and alone than I had ever been in my entire unlife. I preyed for the dawn to come and burn away what was left of my soul. As I walked deep into some hoozier forest toward the rays of mornings first light casting themselves across the horizon, I came across an abandoned campfire burning itself out. I looked closer and could barely discern a small form of ash smoldering in the embers. I caught my breath as I realized that it was the burnt out corpse of a moth, much like myself that had been caught in a flame . A breeze came and it vanished into the mists of time. ..
I refuse to let this be my fate. I refuse to let my love for her destroy me. I am a fighter, I will not fold. I just have to realize what to fight for. I looked East and the crown of the sun peaking its way over the horizon, burned into my cornea. With reckless abandon I dove headlong into the smoldering embers and dug as fast and deep as I could. Ahh, the familiar darkness of being under the cold earth, the dirt and mud covering me in a lovers embrace. The worms comforting me. No my friends you will not conquer me this day.
So do not let it be said that she left me high and dry, because I have never been deeper and wetter.
At night, in my self dug grave, I dream of a way that she can still be mine, but I am dreaming a lie. I torture myself by leaving the door open, that she might sense my pain and dig me out from the abyss, and be my sweet fascination once again ..Yeah right!...... Like I said, I know I am dreaming a lie. This story book fairytale is OVER. The dream was a nightmare. Perhaps there will be a sequel to this fantasy with the same cast of characters and an ending that does not break my heart. I leave the door open, but realistically I know all hope has been dashed on the rocks and all survivers left for dead. We promised each other to remain "friends" and I am sure we will. I guess she will always remain my perfect stranger. The last I heard she had traded her rapier in for a Golf club.
~Ode to Susan~
When will the sun rise,
Morning seems so far away.
So many days have gone by,
I feel like Dorian Grey
I knew her intentions,
But I never thought she would,
Slit my throat and apoligize,
This does me no good.
Reflections of the sun,
Drifting through a screen of night.
Hungry poeple urge her on,
But never see her plight.
With her it's always something,
She grieves before the dawn.
Hot time slips from beneath her feet,
All emotions gone.
She is the depressed child, she only laughs when it's raining out.
When she laughs without a smile, she cries without a doubt.
Drown me in gasoline,
Surround me with dynomite.
It's the flame in her blue eyes,
Making me ignite.
She is the depressed child, she only laughs when it's raining out.
When she laughs without a smile she cries without a doubt.
When she left me there in misery,
I laughed inside my rage.
I thought this would bring me freedom,
But I am locked outside the cage.
I am the depressed child, I only laugh when it's raining out.
When I laugh without a smile, I cry without a doubt.
~The Moral to this nightmare fable~
Let it be known:
In my grave.....I have been reborn. (what's knew)
True love is a LIE. The rainbow can not exist with out the rain. If you try and try to do it right, you will be eaten alive, even by the nicest most incredible person who would never intentionally hurt you. Promises made in the heat of passion are WORTHLESS. Even if you can trust them, fate can take it's cold grip and steal them away. Trust your first instincts. Dear Prudence, I should have listened and run for the hills. Gaurd your heart, it is precious, TRUST NO ONE. What in God's name was I thinking!!!? I could not imagine why in the world I would one-day dig myself out and once again place the old "for rent" sign on the corroded reminance of my hardened heart .. It is better if we do not get to touch our dreams/nightmares .
It is just not worth it:
TRUE LOVE IS A MYTH THAT DOES NOT EXSIST!
A HIDEOUS LIE!
GODS CRUEL JOKE ON US ALL!!!
So there it is, an entirely
One that is a lot more logical to believe in.
I know now that this is a FACT
This moth has learned his lesson .
Stay far away from the flame ..
I will still be eating fire and checking my E-mail for the next mindf*ck.
Though I know I will never write e-mails like this again.
Tell me what Im gonna do when it
all comes down,
Down on me?
I feel lighter somehow,
like a 115 lb. boil has been lanced off my heart.
And I do ask myself,
How many times will I be reborn before I die?
The fire in which we burn .....
Cold Heartless Blood & Empty Passionless Kisses,
Clown Prince of Darkness,
The Vampire Dagon